Monday, October 24, 2011

Heather Dawe, This Post is for You!

I GOTTA FEELING!....or not

I've made several major life decisions based on gut instincts. One that pops out at me was my freshman year in college. I left FSU and enrolled at HCC. I chose the Brandon campus because it was closest to home. I went to my first day of classes and had this anxious feeling come over me. All I saw were Armwood grads. It was the 13th grade! Maybe I was embarrassed that I couldn't cut it at Florida State. Maybe I wanted to start fresh and leave high school drama behind. All I know is that I left that campus after my last class, drove straight to the Ybor campus and enrolled there. That was the best choice I could have made. I had great classes and professors and it gave me the confidence to give FSU another try.

I just had another feeling this morning. I'm not sure I'll act on this one, though. This one's more nostalgic than life altering. After dropping the kids off at school, I went to Dunkin' Donuts for a much needed coffee. I turned out of the parking lot on auto pilot taking my usual route home from LHS. It was a deja vu sort of moment. All of a sudden, I missed LHS and doubted my decision to leave.

This is not actually a new thing for me. I've been pondering this a lot lately. There are a million reasons why working at Pope John Paul is the best thing for me. Here are a few:
  • My kids go there and love it.
  • I only work 3 days a week.
  • I only see the students once or twice a week and don't have a homeroom to deal with.
  • The school has a wonderful sense of community.

Here are reasons why I should never regret leaving LHS:
  • High school students' attitudes seem to be getting worse every year.
  • Class sizes in electives are ridiculously large.
  • Teacher moral is at an all time low.
  • I couldn't keep up with all that teaching Drama entails and spend time with my own kids.

All that said, I still miss it. I hated it the last year I was there, but I guess the grass is always greener. I had a sense of belonging there that I don't get yet at PJP. I felt at home in the halls. I loved making my rounds in the office. I made a lot of good teacher friends. But, quite possibly the best feeling was being in the auditorium alone.

I think I may be nostalgic for another time, though. Seeing Miles in Footloose (blog post on this coming soon!) brought back a lot of good memories. I think I may be confusing those with more recent ones. 2003-2006 were some of the best years of my life, but that's over. I'm where I need to be now. I know that. Hopefully that feeling with kick in soon, because I am one who acts on feelings.

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