Rodent Rampage

I opened the front door this morning to take the girls to school and I kid you not, at least 10-15 squirrels scattered all over my yard. It was like a bust on a speakeasy.

 

Then I noticed a cardinal in a tree, and it all made sense.  Those crazy bastards thought they could actually catch that bird.

Not likely.

I'm Not the Only One Who Finds Christopher Scott Worthy

So does the the 2012 Emmy Nominating Committee.  He is nominated for two SYTYCD dances from last season...two of my faves.  Put that in your pipe and smoke it, Nigel Lithgow!  Take a look.

Twist and Sasha- "Mysty Blue"


Men- "Velocity"


Also nominated are Stacey Tookey (3 Contemporary), Spencer Liff (2 Broadway), Travis Wall from his company's performance on Dancing with the Stars, and 3 numbers from Smash ("Let's Be Bad," "I Never Met a Wolf," and "National Pastime").

I've spent a decent amount of time today watching all the nominated dances on YouTube.  If I had a vote, I'd either go with Scott or Smash.

Speaking of Travis Wall's dance company though, I stumbled across a promo for his new Oxygen reality show this morning.  LOVE it!  Lot's of SYTYCD alums.  You can watch the first episode online, which I did.

Of course, next week, Nigel will drone on and on about the noms.  He seems to see them as a nod to show.  Which they are to an extent. The show's nomination for best Reality Show is his, but the dances are the vision of the choreographers.  I still think he's too stingy with his admiration for their craft.  

All and all, my day has pretty much been spent watching dancing online.  Not bad.

5 Takeaways from SYTYCD

It's Week 2 of the live shows and here are a few of my thoughts on the show:

1. Stop kissing Sonya Tayeh’s ass.  Christopher Scott is a mastermind.

Every season there's a golden choreographer.  For so many years, it was Mia Michaels.  This season belongs to Sonya.  Her choreography is very good.  But it irks me to no end when the judges, mainly Nigel Lithgow, call out choreographers on national television.  That is unacceptable.  I loved both of Christopher Scott's routines.  He is so inventive.  Just because there is no angst and jerky movements with flexed feet doesn't mean that his dances are worthwhile.

2. It’s not about you or your movie, Adam Shankman.

I loved Adam when he directed Hairspray.  He is a champion of dance in film, and I dig that.  But I'm over the self-promotion as a running gag.  He is a valid, legit judge.  I respect that.  Too often SYTYCD has complete incompetents on the judging panel.  But shut up about Step Up Revolution already!!! 

3. I have a huge crush on Matt.

They refer to him as Matthew. That's beat.  His dancing partner calls him Matt, so that's what I'll call him. Every season I have a male crush. First was Neil, then Kent, now Matt. It's really all about the total package:  dance ability, looks, charisma, and sex appeal.  I just think he's the bee's knees.  My fave for sure.

4. I don’t like the new voting format.

It sucks that Fox has cut the results show.  With all the crap on TV these days, especially on Fox, they can't spare 30 minutes on Thursday night?  The producers have dealt with it and structured it as best as they could, but the abrupt departure of dancers at the end takes away from the credit due to the ones leaving.  Tonight, no one got to "dance for their life."  It also takes away from the amount of rehearsal time we see during their dance segment.  It is what it is, but I'm disappointed.

5. I obviously am more drawn to male dancers than female.

This goes for American Idol as well.  And don't even get me started about Maks and Derek on Dancing with the Stars. When I look back over my voting history, I predominantly vote for males.  Which is strange because in the Olympics, I always prefer womens' figure skating and gymnastics to men's.  But what can I say?  There is something ultimately sexy about a strong male dancer.  

The Chaperone: A Review

This is one of those books where I'm left scratching my head as to the title.  

Warning:  Possible Spoilers

Cora Carlisle is a 36-year-old housewife from Kansas when she is chosen to chaperone 15-year-old Louse Brooks to a summer dance seminar in New York City. Louse is tough and no-nonsense with an air of haughtiness and indignation.  Cora is on a search to find the story behind her birth parents.  The two clash.  Cora is old school in a sense, but is up on the suffrage movement.  Louise is as full-on Modern.

Cora gets some answers.  Louise gets a dancing gig.  There's a love interest.  And then that plot ends roughly 3/4 through the book.  The latter part of the novel is a sort of fast forward epilogue. The story shifts from being about Cora as a chaperone to Cora as a wife, mother, grandmother, lover, respected citizen, etc. The story finally ends in the '80s with Cora's death. Louise and Cora share one more scene towards the end. Hence, my confusion over the title.  I wanted more of their relationship.  If this were pure fiction, I'd want some bonding moment where the two totally get one another and become each other's confidantes and champions.  Being historical fiction, though, it may be a stretch to create such an event that never happened. I thoroughly enjoyed the story, but was confused with the structure.

What I did love was the picture of history that was painted.  I love the Twenties.  I enjoyed learning about women's issues and societal views on modern women during that time. I found it interesting to learn how orphans were treated and the adoption system during that time as well as. The novel also touches on Kansas' ultra-conservative views on Prohibition and homosexuality.  I learned about a lot of things.  This is why I dig historical fiction.

Some say Louise was a bitch, but I loved her.  She had spunk and knew what she wanted.  She was the Jazz Age.  I read that Liza Minnelli channeled Louise Brooks when creating her portrayal of Sally Bowles in Cabaret. I wanted to know more about her career and not just in fast forward.  That being said, I truly did enjoy Cora's story.  She was a likable character and a great heroine.

This was well-written, and I would suggest it to anyone interested in historical fiction and the '20s.

The Spectacular Now: A Review

Sutter Keely embraces the now.  He also embraces a full flask and a tall 7-Up.  This story chronicles the last months of his senior year of high school.  He sorts out his friends, family, and relationships...or at least tries to.  

This is one of those books where the plot isn't as compelling as the way it is delivered. This is totally a character driven novel. Sutter is the narrator.  He talks to the reader as if he's your friend and you've known him all your life through statements like "...but you know me." The dialogue is witty and compelling, but some of the best parts are his narrative.  He's the guy who's friends with everyone and everyone wants to have around.  But as the novel progresses, you move from admiration to pity.  His now, as it turns out, isn't really all that spectacular, it's almost pathetic.  What's so great about Sutter, though, is he doesn't see it that way.  He always finds a way to make it spectacular.  And then, you move from pitying him, back to admiration.

I'm not crazy about the ending.  I don't know if I wanted more, or something different, or even if it wasn't actually perfect.  The ending, I suppose, goes along with the whole "now" theme.

The book is being adapted for a movie, which is why I read it.  My former Drama student, Miles Teller of Footloose fame, is playing the role of Sutter.  This is a great character and a great role for him.  I can't wait to see his interpretation and delivery.  I'm also interested to see how the narratives are portrayed in the movie.  I know books and movies are separate entities, but this this novel actually does lend itself to the film format because of it's short, succinct scenes and dialogue. 

I really enjoyed the writing.  It's smart, and I appreciate that.  Read it.  And then go see the movie when it comes out.

I'm Back (sort of)

I don't know what my problem is.  I have the worst case of writer's block.  When I'm teaching and full of angst and frustration, the words keep-a-flowing.  But this summer, with my kids all up in my business, it's hard to get my groove on.  I've certainly experienced writable moments, but I just can't be bothered to pound it out on the keyboard.

In an effort to post in July, I'll share some notable happenings of my summer thus far:

1.  I've been reading a lot.  Of course, I'm hooked on smutty, short romance novels because I'm trying to pump up my stats, but who's judging?  Typically, I enjoy meatier subjects (pardon the pun) during the summer because I have more time to focus and absorb. But this summer, if the novel doesn't have a shirtless six-pack on the cover, I'm not reading it.

2.  I have a new workout regime.  I'm all about Yoga and Pilates.  If the workout requires shoes, forget it.  I also don't want to be yelled at.  I have a slight problem with purchasing new workouts every week, because I like to keep mixing it up, but I'm digging the results.  Of course, I haven't curbed my food or alcohol intake, so I'm not losing weight.  But I'm more toned and feel good.

3.  I'm working part-time for Florida Virtual School.  I'm a TA for Driver's Ed.  To your number one question the answer is "Yes," it is possible to teach Driver's Ed online.  It's only the written portion...rules, regs, say no to drugs/texting, etc.  Thank God they didn't review my driving record as a prerequisite.  I've wanted to get on with them for the longest time.  This is seasonal at the moment. I'm hoping to stay on part-time into the school year and eventually switch to Social Studies.  It's sort of a bummer, though, that it came about during my time off.  Working is really cramping my fun in the sun.  Which brings me to:

4. I LOVE our pool.  What the hell did I ever do with my time before we had it?  I cant' get enough. If the mosquitoes wouldn't devour me, I'd sleep on a raft in it.  My obsessive compulsive personality is rearing its ugly head though,  because tanning has become my job.  I feel it's a must to be out there everyday, for multiple hours.  And I've got no business being in the sun everyday. Skin cancer runs like wild horses through my family.  I've personally had skin cancer removed from my scalp.  My lesson?  Wear a hat.  And broad spectrum SPF.  If it's sunny, I'm out there.  When it's raining, I'm pissed.  The good new is that I haven't gotten burned once.  The bad news is that I'll never have more than a healthy base tan.  A Hawaiian Tropic Model I'll never be.

After our week at the beach over the July 4th holiday, the girls can't be bothered to swim anymore. There are too many bugs, their ears hurt, they want to watch T.V.  I say piss on that.  So, I leave them inside and float about alone.  They come outside occasionally and ask me to place Barbie's hair in a ponytail  and then disappear.  We threaten that we're going to call Mr. Pool to come and take the pool back.  That gets them fired up.  "NO!" they yell.  But still, little to no swimming occurs. This of course is an idle threat because I will most certainly be lost without that pool. Tomorrow (weather permitting), I'm hiding the remotes and the iPad and forcing them to swim.  "And you will enjoy it, dammit!"

‘Home Front’ by Kristin Hannah

Mother’s Day has passed, but if you’re looking for a book as a gift for a mother, this is it.  Kristin Hannah certainly writes with a formula, but it’s one that works.  You can expect complex plots, rich characters, and a nicely resolved ending.  “Home Front” is no exception.

“Home Front” is set during the war in Iraq and tells the story of Jolene and Michael Zarkades.  She’s a reserve army pilot, a wife, and a mother of a preteen and a preschooler.  She manages work, which she loves, and home, alongside helping her oldest daughter, Betsy, deal with teenage angst.   Michael is a workaholic lawyer and is incredibly selfish and absent from family life.  The novel begins with him telling Jolene that he doesn’t love her anymore.  Then she is called up for active duty in Iraq.  Her sense of duty sends her to war, much to the dismay of her family.  Betsy is resentful, and Michael must step into the role of primary caregiver.  Tragedy strikes while Jolene is at war, and everyone is faced with dealing with the aftermath while attempting to hold the family together.

The story deals with familiar themes that many readers can relate to:  marriage difficulties, mother/daughter relationships, patriotism, and the physical and mental results of war on soldiers.  It is not hard to become emotionally invested in the plot.

What is great about this novel is that there is no perfect character.  The reader’s sympathies switch throughout the novel.  The characters are real and relatable.

This is a moving and stirring story and shouldn’t be missed.

http://www.examiner.com/review/home-front-by-kristin-hannah

Christening Day

Today was the first day we were able to swim in the pool.  The deck isn't entirely finished, but it's functional.  We got in about 11 a.m. and didn't come inside until 4:30 p.m, with breaks for food (which we ate poolside.)  It was wonderful.  We haven't spent that much leisure time outdoors in the 10 years we've lived here.

Happy girls.

At bedtime, Belle told me that she loves me more than the new pool.  High praise indeed!

Summer Fun to Come

We've been thinking about a pool for ages, but we just don't have the money for an in ground pool. Lately, we started batting around the idea of an above ground pool.  They've come a long way from my childhood.  Last Friday, Chad and I went to Mr. Pool.  Bottomline, we came home with a 16'x32' new best friend.  That was until we started adding up all the other expenses that went along with this pool.  Since then, we've Chad has been up to his eyeballs in re-designing/building our back porch.  When finished, it will be really nice and what we've wanted for a long time.

Tearing up the old deck boards.

The hose is running non-stop.  I don't even want to see this month's water bill.

View from the back.

Notice the overseer in the window.

Side view.

Thinking about what else has to be done.

Waiting very patiently for the pool to be finished.

The money is worth it because it can be a very long summer when the girls have nothing fun to do outside.  But like every home improvement project, this is opening up the flood gates for more plans.

More photos to come when it is actually finished and the pool is filled.

Fun at Weeki Wachee

We spent several hours at Weeki Wachee today.  We've been to Buccaneer Bay as a family, but I haven't seen the mermaid show since I was a kid.  The girls are obsessed with mermaids, so we decided to make a day of it.  They had a blast!  The show was really cool.  It was good to see the theatre packed for a show that's been around for over 50 years.

It's also been a while since we've taken some decent photos.  Here they are.

Don't hate me for posing for a couple of new profile pics.

After the photo shoot and swimming, Belle got into her "special juice" (a.k.a. Coke) and went ape shit.  Here is evidence as I was attempting to change her in the bathroom stall.

All in all, a fun day!

Happy Birthday, Baby Belle!

My Belle is 4-years-old today!

Then

Now

Tiny Dancers

Last night, the girls had their group dance pictures taken.  It lasted over 3 hours, which was horrible for me.  But as we were leaving they both exclaimed "how much fun" it was and they "loved it!"  So, I guess that made my time away from American Idol worth it.  Here is proof of their happiness.

Yes, this is a ridiculous amount of costumes.  And there are even more that aren't pictured.

How Amazing were 'The Voice' Finals?

The Voice Finals were AMAZING!  Here  is my breakdown:

Last performance excluded, the guys hands down, won the night.  They brought their "A" games.  As it was explained to us (repeatedly), Juliet Simms was sick.   The guys were stellar in all three of their performances.  Juliet only shone in her actual solo.  

Christina Aguilera has got to stop making this show all about her.  She was not nearly as self-congratulatory tonight as in past weeks, however I still counted seven times where she somehow brought the conversation back to her talent or ailments.  The absolute worst, though, was her mini-concert during her duet with Chris Mann.  Admittedly, sick or not, she sounded great. And he was phenomenal.  So my question is this:  Why did the judge have a bigger part in the duet than the contestant?  All the others shared the verses equally, but not Christina.  No, no....she has to be star #1 ALL THE TIME.  It didn't help that the camera was also on her the majority of the song.  For God's sake, the song began with Chris' back to the camera.  But that is a director's choice, so I'll have to forgive her that foul.

What the hell does Christina have against Tony Lucca?  Twice she made a jab at him tonight.  This does not include the countless other slights made throughout the season.  Even The Today Show picked up on this when  the contestants were interviewed this week.  They both were on The Mickey Mouse Club.  She's now a star.  He's a 36-year-old contestant on a reality show.  Why is she threatened?  

Same sex duets are far better for competition purposes.  As mentioned before, The Prayer sung by Christina and Chris was absolutely beautiful.  But the harmonies and placement of voices always allow the female to shine in a duet.  Cee Lo and Juliet's duet was just all right.  It sounded like a throw-away performance where she was trying to preserve her voice.  I loved the honestly and tenderness of Tony's and Adam Levine's duet.  This was an example of harmony and melody blending perfectly.  Jermaine Paul and Blake Shelton's duet was so much fun.  It allowed them to both loosen up and show their fun sides.

Christina slightly redeemed herself when she cried at the end of Chris' performance of You Raise Me Up.  She does seem to truly care about her team and is genuinely moved by their performances.  

Of all the contestants, I would personally buy Chris Mann's album because I like his style of music, and his voice is amazing.  But if I had to guess how America will vote, it is this:

1. Jermaine Paul

2. Juliet Simms

3. Chris Mann

4. Tony Lucca

We'll see if I'm right or wrong on Tuesday night.

Memoirs, Memoirs, and More Memoirs

Check out my latest article where I look at the 'memoir' sensation.

Freddy, My Love

Earlier while flipping through the channels, I came across Nightmare on Elm Street 2.  I should have changed it because the girls were in the room, but I got sucked in. Besides, nothing too gruesome was happening.

Melanie says, "This isn't scary at all."

This from the child who used to run out of the room whenever the giant from Jack and the Beanstalk was on TV.

When at last I turned the channel, Belle freaks out.  "I want to watch the claws!  I love it!"

Melanie begins furiously sketching Freddie Krueger, talking herself through it:  "Head, body, feet, claws..."

"Don't forget the hat, Melanie."

"Oh, yeah."

Next, I had to answer what seemed like a million questions about Freddie Krueger and why he has claws and why was that boy's arm ripping open? and why is he crazy?, etc....

I just wanted to to yell, "Because his mother was raped by 100 maniacs, THAT'S WHY!"

But instead, I sat back and realized that I brought all this on myself and knew that my children would most likely be having nightmares tonight, regardless of how much they think they "love" Freddy.

So, I changed the channel to Dance Moms, because that's so much better for children's viewing.

Just Horsin' Around

In honor of today's running of the Kentucky Derby, the girls got dressed up in their finest and put on a race of their own.

Sadly, "Castle" may have to be put down.

In a miraculous recovery, Castle runs a second race, only to lose again to "Caroline."

The Healing Powers of Venison

Earlier tonight, Melanie hits her nose and is crying.  I tell her to go get an ice pack (notice I do not offer to get it myself....tough love/laziness.)  I hear the freezer door open and shut.  I assume all is well.  A half hour later, I find an abandoned package of frozen deer meat on my couch.

A thousand legitimate ice packs and she chooses this.

Chad went on a hunting trip in the Fall and we have been eating deer meat like its our job.  Mmmmm...delicious!  

Just think this.

And not this.

It feels (and tastes) better that way.

P.S.  What the hell is that all over that doe's back?  The infamous deer flies I hear speak of?  I know the bastards like to bite my legs, and it hurts like hell.  Geez, cut this mom a break, will you?  That's a lot of flies!

The Classic Bait n' Switch

This is such a mindless subject to ponder, but I've often wondered if the celebrities who endorse box hair color really used the product prior to the ad.  Their hair always looks phenomenal.  If they do use it, I'm doing something horribly wrong.  I suspect they don't. Or if they do, they have some master hair colorist doctor the product with subtle highlights.  That and the lighting tech illuminates the hell out of it.

Her hair has never looked better, because her hair is pretty much crap.

My hair would totally have a green tint at this shade.

I'm not buying it.

Hell to the no!

If I could get blonde like that out of a box, I'd never go to a salon again.

A celebrity I would pay NOT to use my product.

Sweet Valley Confidential: Shhh...Don't Tell Anyone I Read This

Preach!

Check out my latest review on Examiner.com where I prove that virtually anything can be critically reviewed.  If you'd have told me I could write 575 words about this nonsense, I'd have called you a liar to your face.

P.S.  Subscribe to me on Examiner.

Horrible, Christina. Absolutely Horrible!

"Dear God.   Please restore my brief sense of style.  I look ridiculous.  Amen."

Worst Case Scenario

I take back everything I wrote in my recent post about Christina Aguilera's transformation from tacky to tasteful.  She is slipping back into her old ways.  Why is she doing this?  Her appearance tonight on The Voice is laughable.  This image is actually the outfit I was referring to in the other article.  But what she is wearing tonight is far worse.  She just can't help herself.

And Christina, if you want to sing, go to a studio and lay down a track.  Because it's not about you, it's about the contestants.

'Fifty Shades of Grey': Mommy's Dirty Little Secret

I've recently started doing some freelance writing for Examiner.com.  Please click here to read my first article on the new phenomenon, Fifty Shades of Grey.  I wont post my articles in their entirety on my blog because that defeats the purpose.  I get paid by the amount of page clicks.  Enjoy!