Thursday, March 29, 2012

An Easter Story (Melanie's Version)

First, an update on the chore chart as it pertains to this post:

The honeymoon is over.  The chores are still being done, but the sereneness of  three mornings ago has left.  It's now chaos as usual. See this for more info.  This morning they were fighting over...
Melanie was hoarding it.  Belle wanted to hold it  The following is a transcript of the morning's events.

Scene 1:  The Living Room
Belle:  Give it to me.  I wanna read it.
Melanie: You don't even know how to read. 
Belle:  Yes, I do. 
Melanie:  No, you don't. 
Yes, I do.  No you don't.  (Repeats roughly 25x)
Melanie:  Fine!  I'll read it really fast then give it to you.   (Furiously flips pages) Jesus dies on the cross.  Okay, next page (flip).  Mary is so sad she throws up all over Jesus (flip).  He rises from the dead.  Everyone cheers.  (Shuts book)  Okay, the end.  Here (thrusts book at Belle).
Me:  Melanie, show me the picture of Mary vomiting on her son.
Melanie:  I just said that to make Belle laugh. 
That's my girl distorting fact for fiction for comedy's sake.

Scene 2:  The Ride to School
(They are singing to the finale of Godspell.)
Belle:  (in a pseudo-deep voice bordering on sacrilege) O God, I'm bleeding...O God, I'm dying...O God, I'm dead.
Melanie: (playing air guitar) Will I be nailed or roped to the cross?
Me:  Uh...neither.  You will not be crucified at all. 
Melanie:  I'm excited that we get to see the end of the Easter video today.  I missed my favorite part yesterday...the crucifixion. that normal?

Chad says he'll be glad when Easter is over.  Melanie is taking it too hard.  She cried at bedtime tonight because Jesus died on the cross. Sounds like the onset of Catholic guilt. 

Melanie:  Mary, I have some bad news.  When Jesus grows up, he's gonna die on the cross.
Wrong liturgical season, girls.

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